so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I CAN MOONWALK!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
