Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
