he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
