i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
