Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
