if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ladies don't puke and tell
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
