I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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