Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
