Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
