Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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