im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
