Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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