whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
