Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
