All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
