she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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