Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
