anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
