IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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