you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize