I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
