God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize