I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
