your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
50% drunk capacity currently
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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