She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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