She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
