And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
