just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
