We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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