4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
