he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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