Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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