sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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