So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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