And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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