My hand turned me down
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
