i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
