Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
