The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
