Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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