She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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