Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
