Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
