i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
