So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
