Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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