No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
