So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
