i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
pray to the hookup gods
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
