I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
