i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
