Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
