The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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