the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
