i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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