Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
