she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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